Stewards Newsletter

August 2017

Welcome to our August Newsletter and what a success our annual SUMMER PARTY was! So much work goes on behind the scenes leading up to the big day and once more it wouldn’t have been possible without the tremendous help from all our Volunteers and of course all the donations for our 2 Tombola Tables and all the lovely cakes, sausage rolls etc.   


HAVANT PASSION PLAY and the admission is FREE. This will take place in Havant Park on Saturday 12th and Sunday 13th of August. There will be 2 performances on Saturday at 12 noon and 3pm and 1 performance on Sunday at 3pm.   James-Burke Dunsmore is the writer, producer and director and he is well known for taking the role of Jesus both at the Wintershall Estate and in Trafalgar Square on Good Friday. The Passion Play is performed at the Wintershall Estate for 1 week in July. I did take a coach there a few years ago and it was a wonderful experience. Take a rug or a garden chair if you decide to go and I will be taking a picnic too. Light refreshments are available to buy. I will be going to the 12 noon performance and will have 2 spare seats in my car if anybody wants a lift.    


I have had a few people get in touch regarding tips for your garden or patio – 3 people thought it was a great idea, but a friend from Australia emailed me to say that water from boiled eggs is very toxic and they use it as a path weeder. Perhaps water in Australia is different to ours!    


A man went to the Doctor worried about his wife’s temper. He said, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason at all and it scares me.” The Doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it around in your mouth. Just swish and swish it but don’t swallow it until either she leaves the room or calms down.” Two weeks later the man comes back to the Doctor looking fresh and reborn and he says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished it round and round until she calmed right down. How does a glass of water do that?” The Doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”   


A few factoids for you. Guards of the Household Division will get through 1,200 pots of boot polish in preparation for the Trooping of the Colour. 

The first Cash Machine in the world was installed at a Barclays Bank in Enfield, London 50 years ago in July. 

The first officially recognised aeroplane flight in the UK took off from the Isle of Sheppey in 1909 and covered a distance of just 1 mile before landing safely. 

Margarine was patented in France in July 1869 as a butter substitute for Napoleon 111’s Army... 


Out of the mouths of babes and sucklings – a little girl was challenged by her teacher as to why she never crossed the road outside her school. The little girl replied with a sigh, “Because there is a man with a sign that says, “STOP CHILDREN.”   


COFFEE MORNING – the date for this has been changed from September to 3rd October at 10.00am.   


My lovely Red Fiat 500 car will be 8 years old in September, never had a problem with it and it is still great, but I decided it might be time to change to a younger model. My daughter Jill and I went to the Car Sales Showroom where I purchased it new and the Salesman was very helpful and we had almost decided to buy a particular car but hoped to get a slightly better deal on a few items, so out came the Retail Sales Manager, possibly related to Arthur Daley. He looked at us sitting at the desk, looked at the notes the Salesman had made, but not looked at the car, and said, “First thing I have to say is that your car has seen better days.” I had had my car cleaned and polished at the Car Cleaners in West Town that morning and it was gleaming. Ladies, you will know what I mean. I have great affection for my car and I was extremely hurt on its behalf, so we wished him a good day and went somewhere else and bought another car.   


FOOD BANK which is based at the Bridge Centre has said that they do not need any more food until next October. However, they would appreciate any donations of money so that they can purchase electricity cards and the like to give to those in need. I had some tins of food that people had given to me to donate and I have put that in the Food Bank trolley at Waitrose.   


So many of you are on holiday in August so I have given you a chance to rest your brain until September when the quiz will be reinstated. Congratulations to the winner this month Sue Orton and your prize is in Reception.   


TURKEY & TINSEL – the balance is due on the 4th September. Some of you may think it is too early to talk about Christmas, but I had to book this holiday in December last year and pay the deposit in January and even then, this was the only week available! There are a few twin rooms still available so get in quick if you would like to join us for this wonderful pre-Christmas House Party at the Haddon Hall Hotel in Eastbourne. Full details are attached in the final edition of the Excursions for 2017.   


A little girl’s Prayer – when Kelly said her bedtime Prayers, she would always Bless every family member, every friend and every animal (current and past). Then one night after she had finished her Prayers she started saying, “And all the girls.” It soon became part of her nightly routine to conclude with this closing Prayer. Eventually her Mother’s curiosity got the better of her and she asked, “Kelly, why do you add the part about all the girls?” Kelly’s response was, “Because everybody always finishes their Prayers by saying ‘All Men.’   I think that is so sweet. Take care of yourselves and enjoy the rest of the summer.   

Best Wishes.  

Cathy Kennealy