Stewards Newsletter

December 2019


Welcome to our last Newsletter for 2019 and wishing you and yours a Happy and Holy Christmas and Good Luck, Good Health and God Bless you in the year ahead.

Plenty of exciting things going on in December.

1st DECEMBER – CAROLS IN THE COMMUNITY WITH CHURCHES TOGETHER – Mulled wine, soft drinks & mince pies on hand– Free Admission.


14th DECEMBER - HAYLING ISLAND CHOIR CHRISTMAS CONCERT WITH BLENDWORTH BRASS BAND - Tickets £10.00 (includes a mince pie) available from Reception. 



A woman goes into a fishing shop to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's Christmas present. She doesn't know which one to get so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The salesperson is standing there wearing dark shades. She says, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, "Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway. He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-lb test line. It's a good all round combination; and it's on sale this week for only £20.00." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops to the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was she who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around. The man rings up the sale and says, "That 'll be £34.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for £20.00?  How did you get £34.50?" He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel are £20.00, but the duck call is £11.00 and the catfish bait is £3.50."

Tania is looking at excursions and theatre trips for next year, but I can tell you that we have already booked seats for “Woman in Black” on the 5th of February at the Kings Theatre. We have the tickets on hold until Mid-December so please book and pay for your tickets as soon as possible. More coach trip details will be available soon.

QUIZ TIME – The winner of the quiz was Barbara Whiteman. Congratulations and a nice bottle of wine is waiting in Reception for you. I checked Google with regards to the Filly question as a majority of you put 4 years old as the answer. I Quote “A filly is a female horse under the age of 4. (In racing, the age cut-off for the filly designation can be 5 years old.) After which they are designated as a mare. The mare status is not upon reaching oestrus as often believed. (generally the rule reflects the time when the filly stops growing)”.  No prize for Decembers Quiz, but instead a Festive General Knowledge Quiz with the Answers that you can do with the family. No peeking at the answers!

Some of the Christmas traditions my family and I do every year include watching The Snowman on Christmas Eve, then the children put a plate down for Santa Claus and his reindeer consisting of a glass of milk (or something stronger), a mince pie and some carrots. There is always some crumbs the next day so we assume they enjoy it! On Christmas day the children open the presents left for them at the end of their beds to play with so my husband and I can have a lay in until at least 7am(!). Boxing Day we always place a bet on the races in memory of my Granddad Reg who was a keen racing enthusiast, his birthday was on Boxing Day and he always said it was his luckiest day! 

Here’s a poem I can relate to, the source I got it from says the author is anonymous but they seem to have read my mind!

Twas’ the month after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse

The cookies I’d nibbled, the eggnog I’d taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist

When I got on the scales there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)

I’d remember the marvellous meals I’d prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared

The wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese
And the way I’d never said, “No thank you, please.”

As I dressed myself in my husband’s old shirt
And prepared once again to do battle with dirt —

I said to myself, as I only can
“You can’t spend a winter disguised as a man!”

So – away with the last of the sour cream dip
Get rid of the fruitcake, every cracker and chip

Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
Till all the additional ounces have vanished

I won’t have a cookie–not even a lick
I’ll want only to chew on a long celery stick

I won’t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie
I’ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry

I’m hungry, I’m lonesome, and life is a bore —
But isn’t that what January is for?

Unable to giggle, no longer a riot
Happy New Year to all and to all a good diet!

There won’t be a January Newsletter so I hope you will all have a lovely Christmas and look forward to seeing you safe and well in 2020.

Very Best Wishes and a Happy New year,

Mandy Stanfield