Stewards Newsletter

April 2019


  Hallo and welcome to our April Newsletter. Now we have Easter to look forward to and I always imagine that we are going to have good weather because the Fair opens and so do all the beach cafes and of course all the clocks will have sprung forward.

“OKLAHOMA!” the wonderful Rogers and Hammerstein Musical is the Big One at Chichester Festival Theatre and we have booked 52 seats for the evening performance on Monday 29th July. So many wonderful songs, “Oh, what a Beautiful Morning!” “Surrey with the Fringe on Top,” “I’m Just a Girl Who Can’t Say No,” and so on.

Amora Okereke who plays Laurey won Best Actress for her role as Cosette in Les Miserables.  Hyoie O’Grady plays Curly and also played Enrojas in Les Miserables. Josie Lawrence who plays Aunt Eller is a familiar face from TV. Tickets in the centre stalls are £49.00 each and bookings are open now. The coach will leave from the road outside the Centre at 6.00pm and this gives us plenty of time to hopefully sit outside in the sunshine and have a relaxing drink before the show.

Thank you everybody for all your wonderful donations for the Tombola at the Table Top Sale. The total sum raised for the Community Centre was £311.00 and £103.00 of that was from the Tombola.

WHY? Why do we press harder on the remote control when we know the batteries are getting dead?

Why do we never hear Father-in-Law jokes?

Why do they use sterilized needles for death by legal injection?

Why do Kamikaze Pilots wear helmets?

And how can you tell when Blue Cheese has gone mouldy?

Two Bank Holidays this month. Good Friday 19th of April and Easter Monday 22nd April. The Centre will close on Maundy Thursday 18th April and reopen on Tuesday 23rd April. Opening times for T @ the Park will be normal opening times 8.30am to 4.30pm but may close earlier on the Bank Holidays, Good Friday and Easter Monday. They will close at 2.00pm if it’s not busy but will stay open until 3.00 if there are customers around, so let’s hope for some good weather.  We also have two more Bank Holidays in May to look forward to!

The old ones are the best ones. When our lawnmower broke down and wouldn’t run, my wife kept hinting to me that we should get it fixed. But somehow I had always got something to take care of first, the shed, the boat, making beer. Always something more important to me. Finally she thought of a clever way to make her point. When I arrived home one day, I found her sitting on the tall grass, busily snipping away with a pair of nail scissors. I watched silently for some time and then went in to the house. I came back and when I came out I handed her a toothbrush. I said, “When you have finished cutting the grass, you might as well sweep the drive.” The Doctor says I will walk again but I will always have a limp.

What a difficult Quiz Mandy set for you in March and maybe that is why we had such a small response.  I whittled it down to the one that had the least wrong answers and that was Barbara Whiteman.  Congratulations and your prize is in Reception.  Much easier Quiz for April and the closing date will be 24th April. This month we have a quiz with a difference. Each clue can be solved by the name of a British town, city or county. 

Did you know that a group of Pandas is called an embarrassment? I wonder why.

THE CENTRE’S ANNUAL FUND RAISING QUIZ ON FRIDAY 17TH MAY. 7.00pm for 7.30pm. Teams of up to 8 per team and the cost including supper is £10.00 per person. Please register your team by phoning Tania Jones on 02392 467567 or calling in at the Centre. This is always over subscribed, so don’t delay, book today. All proceeds raised go towards funds for the Community Centre.

TUESDAY 30th APRIL HAROLD HILLIER GARDENS - What could be nicer for our first day excursion than a visit to these beautiful gardens in the Spring. Brian will give us all a map and a list of plants and shrubs to look out for. There is a café and a restaurant there and, of course, a Garden Centre. After lunch we will board the coach and visit Romsey and Romsey Cathedral.  Entrance is free which is unusual nowadays. I believe most people visiting a Cathedral/Church would leave a donation. There is a small Visitor Centre there attached to King John’s house. There is an additional entrance fee of £3.00 if you want to visit the house which also has a café and a very pretty garden. The cost of the excursion is £32.00. The coach will depart from the usual place at 9.30am and the approximate time of arrival back at the Centre is 5.00pm.

I have been reading through my Pam Ayres books looking for something suitable to finish with, but I get so engrossed in reading it and did not use a bookmark at the items I liked so I have had to go back and re-read! I liked this one in a section entitled,  Advice My Mum Gave Me

My Mum gave me a lot of good advice, though I did not value it much at the time. One small nugget was, “Don’t get Too Thick with your neighbours.” 

I moved into a terraced house and one of my neighbours was an elderly neighbour whom I am sure was lonely. She was nice and I liked her and at first we used to chat over the garden fence. 

Once having started this amiable trend, though, I soon realised that not only was she was a person who had unfortunately undergone many surgical operations, but also someone who was more than happy to tell you all about them. 

It was getting and more difficult to get away. Once having uttered the reckless words, “How are you,” the floodgates opened. The date and minute details of each operation would be listed, the exclamations of each astonished surgeon, culminating in almost each and every case with a lurid and ghastly description I came to dread: the growth as big as a grapefruit! 

Hours would elapse before I could escape and get back indoors. I longed for fresh air and sunshine but dare not go into the garden. I stopped buying grapefruit. 

I had fallen into the trap, failed to heed my Mother’s warning and had got too thick with the neighbours.

Look forward to seeing you all at the Easter Coffee Morning on Tuesday 16th April from 10.00 am. 

Happy Easter.

Best Wishes. 

Cathy Kennealy